Sports 56 WHBlog Q

December 17, 2008

The Miscellany, Vol. 2

I’m starting on a topic far away from sports…because it is hard not to get disillusioned when we live in a country in which Goldman Sachs can receive well over 10 billion dollars and debt guarantees from the U.S. government and yet pay only $14 million in taxes.   How are they in the 1% tax bracket?  Why am I not in the 1% bracket?  I made WAYYYY less than $10 billion.

Here’s the next question: did Auburn athletic director Jay Jacobs really think he pass Gene Chizik off as a good hire?  Really?  Did he honestly think this would be acceptable?  It is an indefensible hire by a clearly incompetent athletic department.  When people decry the “good ‘ol boy” network, this is exactly the kind of thing they’re talking about.  No one can know for sure how big a role, if any, race played in the decision to hire Gene Chizik over Turner Gill.  But I find it easy to believe that a white man just happens to be “the best fit” (in the words of Jay Jacobs) for Auburn right now.  It may be a long, long time before a black man happens to be “the best fit” at Auburn.  And that’s shameful.

Chizik has no chance to succeed at Auburn.  None.  He is ill-equipped to deal with the increased competition for wins and for recruits in the SEC West.  He is going head to head with the man who might be the best recruiter in the country at a higher-profile school that is on the way to bigger and better things.  He has lost his last 10 games as a a head coach, including losses by 14 to Texas A&M and 28 to Baylor.  He only managed to beat the likes of South Dakota State and Kent State this season.  There is no explanation that is sufficient for getting rid of Tommy Tuberville to hire Gene Chizik.  None whatsoever.  Auburn is in trouble.

You may have heard a few things about new technology that allows various events to be broadcast live in 3D and beamed to various theaters around the nation.  It sounds pretty amazing to me – a live sporting event in 3D, in high definition quality on a huge screen…that’s incredible!  Here’s more news: the BCS national championship game on January 8th is going to be broadcast in this same technology to hundreds of theaters, including 5 in Tennessee.  I checked out the list of theaters and found something fascinating…there’s a location in Knoxville, one in Johnson City, one outside of Nashville, one in Johnson City, one in Dyersburg…and none in Memphis.  DYERSBURG is showing it, but Memphis isn’t.  What the hell?  Dyersburg has better theater technology than Memphis?  Someone from Malco needs to get on this.

Now, it’s time to play a little game called Which Recent Story Is the Most Embarrassing For Me As a Soccer Fan?

A. I’LL PEEK IN BECKS’ KECKS

ONE of David Beckham’s new Italian team-mates is desperate to see his golden balls.

AC Milan striker Marco Borriello, 26, said: “I must admit I have a dressing room curiosity over Beckham.

“I want to see if he is equipped as he is in the Armani underwear adverts.”

England soccer legend Becks, 33 — on loan to AC Milan from LA Galaxy — strips to his pants and shows off his muscles in pictures on giant advertising hoardings all over Italy as part of Armani’s intimate collection campaign.”

B. ENGLISH WOMEN DO NOT WASH

With several Napoli players attracting interest from English clubs, the Serie A side risk having their season ruined by high-profile departures next month – a situation which prompted De Laurentiis’ remarkable rant.

“If they want to go to England then in the end they’re going to go” he said. “But they need to understand this: the English live badly, eat badly and their women do not wash their genitalia. To them, a bidet is a mystery.”

Despite recent improvements, the English diet remains something of a laughing stock among many Italians. Fabio Capello, England’s Italian manager, has spoken about his surprise at the amount of chips and tomato ketchup consumed by top players.

But the comments about poor hygiene among English women though are more of a surprise, particularly as English football WAGs (wives and girlfriends) are thought to spend a great deal of time and effort preparing to leave the house each day.

C. THIS ISN’T A STORY SO MUCH AS A VIDEO – BUT WHAT THE HELL???

The German Bundesliga in the 1970s was a strange and terrifying place.

By the way, the correct answer is D.  All of the above.  General shame all around.

Most people wouldn’t change their name to reflect their bizarre love of a supporting character in the movie Teen Wolf, but then again, most people aren’t Buccaneers defensive end Greg White:

WHAT’S IN A NAME: Bucs defensive end Greg White has decided to follow the lead of Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson – er, Ocho Cinco.

No, White isn’t turning into a loudmouth or looking to become a wide receiver. He is, however, planning to change his name.  By the time the year is out, White will officially be known as Stylez G. White instead of just Greg White. Why?

“You can always remember Stylez White,” White said. “Greg White, nobody knows Greg White.”

Quarterbacks know him. White made a name for himself last year when he led the Bucs with eight sacks and seven forced fumbles, White hasn’t been quite so proficient this year. He has just 3.5 sacks, and he’s yet to force a fumble. If that doesn’t change, it won’t matter what his name is; people will have a hard time remembering him.  But White isn’t changing his name with football in mind. He’s got bigger plans that may include a career in politics.

“I want people to judge me off who I am, not what I am,” he said. “And I want to do more for the community. I want to make a difference in people’s lives.”

I have not yet heard what Jerry Levine, the actor who played the now-legendary Rupert “Styles” Stilinski thinks of this.

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