Sports 56 WHBlog Q

July 21, 2008

Sunday on the Couch!

Filed under: Uncategorized — robfischer @ 5:17 pm

What a weekend in sports, so let’s get right to my random thoughts:


Greg Norman finishing third at the Open Championship was still a great story.  To have the lead after three rounds was remarkable.  He’s 53 years old and played among the elite players in the game today, with the exception of one guy.  If Norman would have won, the only comparison I could compare it to was when George Foreman knocked out Michael Moorer.  But, Foreman wasn’t 53!  Since Norman didn’t win, I compare it to Jimmy Connors run at the U.S. Open when he was 39.  Connors made the semi’s of the Open before losing to Jim Courier.  But, his match against Aaron Krickstein was one of the best I’ve ever seen.  It lasted into the darkness and everyone in America was rooting for him during his five set victory (4 hours and 41 minutes).  Can you imagine anyone advancing to the semifinals of a grand slam event in tennis at the age of 39?  No way!  One other comparison- Norman is married to Chrissy Evert.  Connors was planning on marrying Evert before it broke off in 1978.

I wish ABC/ESPN would actually show golf during their coverage.  There were so many packages and the Greg Norman coverage became overwhelming.  Instead of watching Anthony Kim (3 off the lead), we saw Norman on the range, on the green, on the toilet, etc.  There were three players close to the lead, and we saw a few putts from each.  It was a travesty.  The Greg Norman show overshadowed everyone else, and he promptly collapsed.  Thanks ABC/ESPN.


Here’s how you break a tie in the MLB All Star Game:  Play 12 innings.  If it’s still tied, pick five guys and have a homerun derby. That way managers can figure out how and when to get everyone into the lineup.  Plus, the fans would love it.  Tuesday night would have been a disaster had it gone a couple of more innings, and it still would have determined home field in the World Series. Three rules changes would make everything better- 1. Eliminate home field advantage. 2. Make the players stay in the dugout until the end of the game. 3. Twelve innings and then homer derby if tied.


Chris Berman is nauseating during homerun derby.


You know who loves Brett Favre?  BRETT FAVRE!


Justin Timberlake was great as the host of the ESPY’s.


It’s nice to see a Memphis Grizzly on the red carpet and invited to all the big Hollywood events!  He’s there because of his wife, but Marko Jaric was at the ESPY’s and his wife, Adriana Lima, presented an award. Can’t wait to see her courtside.

Any time you can get a picture of Adriana, you do it!


Tom Watson is a dead ringer for Dick Vermeil.


Forest Whitaker could read the phone book and make it dramatic.


Joey Dorsey can’t leave Rockets practice until he makes ten straight free throws.  He’s been there for 247 hours.


Friday on the Sports Bar, we came up with a list of the all time movie baseball lineup.  Here’s the list I finished with, along with my favorite quotes from each character.

ANNOUNCER: Harry Doyle (Major League) “Juuuuust a bit outside. Tried the corner and missed.”

UMPIRE: Enrico Pallazzo (Naked Gun)It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!”

OWNER: Rachel Phelps (Major League)Cross him off then.”

MANAGER: Lou Brown (Major League) “Come on Dorn, get in front of the damn ball, don’t give me this Ole BS”

COACHES: Morris Buttermaker (Bad News Bears)No! Don’t jump in Engleberg, you’ll flood the valley.”

Larry Hockett (Bull Durham) “Lollygaggers!”

BALLGIRLS: Annie Savoy (Bull Durham) “These are the ground rules. I hook up with one guy a season. Usually takes me a couple weeks to pick the guy – kinda my own spring training. And, well, you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far, so I just thought we should kinda get to know each other.”

Millie (Bull Durham)You can’t ban me from the ballpark because my daddy donated the scoreboard.”

Tenley Parrish (Summer Catch) “You say you love getting on that mound and playing baseball! Why would you ever settle for cutting grass?”

Lynn Wells (Major League)I have a much better body than she does!”

Wendy Peffercorn (Sandlot) “Little pervert!”

FIRST BASE: Jack Elliott (Mr. Baseball)Any of you guys speak Americano? Jack Elliot here bringing you the best in Major League thrills for the fellas, and free moustache rides for the ladies.”

SECOND BASE: Michael “Squints” Palledorous (Sandlot)I’ve been coming here every summer of my adult life, and every summer there she is oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling… smiling. I can’t take this no more!”

THIRD BASE: Roger Dorn (Major League)It was out of my reach, what do you want me to do dive for it?”

SHORTSTOP: Tanner Boyle (Bad News Bears) “Hey Yankees! You take your apology, and your trophy, and shove ‘em straight up your [butt].”

LEFT FIELD: Bennie the Jet (Sandlot)Anyone who wants to be a can’t-hack-it pantywaist who wears their mama’s bra, raise your hand.”

CENTER FIELD: Willie Mays Hayes (Major League)I hit like Mays, and I run like Hayes.

RIGHT FIELD: Roy Hobbs (The Natural) “And then? And then when I walked down the street people would’ve looked and they would’ve said there goes Roy Hobbs, the best there ever was in this game.”

CATCHER: Crash Davis (Bull Durham) “Well, I believe in the soul, the [blank], the [blank], the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

STARTING PITCHER: Nuke Laloosh (Major League)So is somebody going to go to bed with somebody or what?”

Billy Chapel (For Love of the Game) “God, I always said I would never bother you about baseball, lord knows you have bigger things to worry about. But if you could make this pain in my shoulder stop for ten minutes, I would really appreciate it.”

RELIEF PITCHER: Eddie Harris (Major League) “You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.”

CLOSER: Rick Vaughn (Major League)California Penal…”

DESIGNATED HITTER: Kelly Leak (Bad News Bears)There’s nice ass at the field, that’s why I always hang around it.

BENCH: DH- Pedro Cerrano (Major League)Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.”

C- Jake Taylor (Major League)I had no choice. She bet me fifty dollars that she had a better body than you and I had to defend your honor.

1B- Clew Haywood (Major League) “How’s your wife and my kids?”

C- Mike Engelberg (Bad News Bears)There’s energy in chocolate. I need energy.”

C- Hamilton “The Great Hambino” Porter (Sandlot)You’re killing me Smalls! These are s’more’s stuff! Alrite now pay attention. First you take the graham, you stick the chocolate on the graham. Then you roast the ‘mallow. When the ‘mallows flaming… you stick it on the chocolate. Then cover with the other end. Then you scarf. Kind of messy, but good!”

P- Amanda Whurlitzer (Bad News Bears)I know an 11-year-old girl who is already on the pill.”

RF- Timmy Lupis (Bad News Bears)Sometimes bird poo tastes like candy.”

2B- Jose Agilar (Bad News Bears)A?Yo no me voy a poner esto! A?Esto duele!” [“I’m not going to wear this! It hurts!”]

LF- Miles Dalrymple (Summer Catch)Excuse me, I am tired of living a lie. I need it to be known that I like a big girl. In fact, a large, zaftig, voluptuous, full-figured, big-boned, massive-assive honey, that is what gets me going. I like fat women and they like me… big girls need love too, baby!”

BP BATTERY: John Kinsella (Field of Dreams) “Is this heaven?”, and Ray Kinsella (Field of Dreams) “It’s Iowa.”



AROD alone at Party?

ALEX Rodriguezs teammates must wish they could divorce him too. “He’s become a huge distraction with the Madonna fiasco,” a source told Page Six. “It’s always all about him.” That explains why none of his fellow Yankees went to the All-Star bash he hosted at JayZ‘s 40/40 Club Monday night.

Superdome party district

The state agency that runs the Louisiana Superdome and the New Orleans Arena has taken tentative steps toward purchasing a major piece of downtown real estate near the stadiums that eventually could become a glittering entertainment district with bars, sports-themed restaurants and other attractions. The agency hopes by the end of the week to sign an option agreement for the New Orleans Centre. — New Orleans Times-Picayune

No Diving in Shallow Water

Daric Barton smacked his head on the bottom of a pool during the All-Star break, requiring six staples to close the gash and leaving the Oakland first baseman with a neck strain that landed him on the disabled list. Barton said he was at a friend’s apartment back home in California when he dove into a pool Sunday night. He didn’t realize how shallow it was, and he hit his head on the bottom. He never lost consciousness, but blood began gushing down his face and Barton went to the emergency room. Doctors sealed the cut with six staples that are clearly visible atop Barton’s head. He is slated to have the staples removed on Wednesday.

Love the Prius!

Timberwolves rookie Kevin Love whose contract guarantees him $5.4 million for the next two years, won’t be buying a Cadillac Escalade or similar luxury sport utility vehicle like many of his teammates. “Maybe a Prius, because gas prices are so high,” he said. “I’m all about saving money so I can have some security. I’m not chasing money; I’m chasing the game.” — Pioneer Press

NBA Rookie Goes Undrafted by Nightclub

TMZ– Newly drafted NBA star Michael Beasley suffered his first pro rejection at Villa Tuesday night. Don’t blame the kid too much — he’s 19 and Villa is a 21-and-over club.

Can’t eat dog at Olympics

Pranay Sharma (Thaindian News)- Exotic items like dog meat may be missing from the food menu in China during the Olympics. Authorities have asked the 112 designated Beijing restaurants for the Games to keep it off their menu and imposed a ban on its sale keeping the sensitivity of foreign visitors in mind.

Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood enters rehab

Reuters– Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood has entered rehab for a drinking problem. “Following Ronnie’s continued battle with alcohol he has entered a period of rehab,” Wood’s spokeswoman said in London. Ronnie was drinking two bottles of vodka per day and his waist size has dropped to 28. The announcement followed a series of British newspaper reports that Wood, 61, had been spending time at his Irish retreat with an 18 year old Russian cocktail waitress. She says on her Facebook page that she and Wood have a relationship, and she thinks there could be a future between the two.  Wood has been married for 23 years.

Trump sells house for $100M

The Associated Press- The real estate market might be slumping, but not for Donald Trump, who sold his Palm Beach mansion for $100 million. His spokeswoman says $100 million is the most ever paid for an estate in the U.S., though there is no way to verify that claim. Russian fertilizer billionaire Dmitry Rybolovlev purchased the roughly 60,000 square-foot oceanfront home, which Trump fixed up after buying it for about $41 million in 2004.

Victoria Beckham ordinary!

Victoria Beckham admits she’s just like everyone else. “I’m a normal-looking girl, and I just make the best of what I have,” Posh said in an interview with Allure magazine. “I’m not out-of-the-ordinary looking at all — I’m incredibly ordinary.”

Ocean’s Dry?

Film fans hoping to catch George Clooney and the gang for another “Ocean’s” flick will be disappointed to hear the $1 billion franchise is history. When OK! magazine asked Don Cheadle if there would be an “Ocean’s 14,” he put it plainly. “No. Done. It’s a wrap.”

Andy Dick jailed on drug, sex allegations

The Associated Press– Andy Dick was arrested early Wednesday for investigation of drug use and sexual battery after the comedian allegedly pulled down a teenager’s top. Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta at about 1:13 a.m. to investigate a report of “an intoxicated male” urinating outside the bar and causing a disturbance, according to a police statement. When they arrived, a 17-year-old girl told police that she was outside when Dick left the bar, walked up, “grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts,” the statement said. Marijuana and the drug Xanax were found his pants pockets during a search and he appeared “extremely intoxicated,” police said.

How fightening is this guy??

‘Mini Me’ still lives with sex tape-selling ex

MSNBC- Unwitting sex-tape star Verne Troyer is still fighting the release of a video featuring him and his ex-girlfriend Ranae Shrider sharing. But, oddly enough, the “Mini Me” actor is still sharing his home with the woman who betrayed him. “(Ranae’s) still in the house,” Verne revealed to E! News. While he seeks legal action to force his former flame out, Verne’s not leaving, either, a situation he claims “makes it even harder, to, you know, not strangle her.”

Birthdays Last Week: Alex Karras (73), Brigitte Nielson (45), Forest Whitaker (47), Jesse Ventura (57), Willie Aames (48), Barry Sanders (40), Ginger Rogers (97), “Shoeless” Joe Jackson (119), Phoebe Cates (45- my first “love”), Will Ferrell (40), David Hasselhoff (56), Penny Hardaway (36), Ricky Skaggs (54), Vin Diesel (41), Ray Allen (33), Carlos Santana (61), Chuck Daly (75)

There’s plenty happening this week in Tunica.  For a complete list of events and attractions in Tunica, Mississippi, click on the link below.  Get easy access to the casino’s, golf courses, and all other entertainment.

Here’s a sneak peak of what’s coming up this week in Tunica:

July 24 – 27

Thrillusions”Magical Rock Concert Masquerade” Featuring Magician James Brandon



July 25 – 26




July 25 – 26

Gypsy Rose

Resort’s Tunica


July 26

Fight at The Fitz

The Fitz


Mark September 13th on your calendar!  Ron White will be performing at Harrah’s that night and you don’t want to miss “Tater Salad”.  I already have my tickets!  Call 901-525-1515 for ticket information.

There will not be a Mid-South Golfer the Radio show in Tuinca this week due to SEC Media Days and Bob Wolcott’s event Wolcott and Friends at Tunica National Golf and Tennis Club.


For more information, call 866-TEE-OFF1 or go online at  See you there. 

Talk to y’all this week.



  1. Can’t you spell frightening?

    Comment by mark — July 22, 2008 @ 2:47 pm

  2. I see your taking your weekly cheap-shot at a tiger.Keep up the good work.Your a class-act,now you know why Calkins and Wolkens calls you a radio clown.There words not mine

    Comment by mike tramel — July 23, 2008 @ 11:37 am

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