Sports 56 WHBlog Q

June 9, 2008

Sunday on the Couch!

Filed under: blog, sports 56, Uncategorized — robfischer @ 2:09 am

What a great weekend at Southwind.  The tournament was fantastic, there were big names on the leaderboard, we had a playoff, a repeat winner, and although it was hot, the wind sure helped.  Next year, the event will once again be the week prior to the US Open.  Expect another great field, and I would expect Phil Mickleson to be here.  The only thing that could change my mind is if Phil wins the National next week.  His normal routine is to play the week prior to a major.  Because the US Open is being played on his home course of Torrey Pines, Phil elected to skip this week to relax at home for an extra week with his beautiful family, and to practice in his back yard.  If he wins, maybe he changes his routine.  If not, I would guess that he’ll go back to his routine which would mean an appearance in Memphis.  As far as Tiger playing…… well, if he misses the cut this week, injures his knee next year after the Masters, and is trying to come back for the US Open, and wants to play competitively the week before, we might get him.  Basically, don’t count on him coming.  If he was ever going to play in Memphis, it would have been this year.

The comments from broadcasters, players, and guests on the Sports Bar this week had nothing but great things to say about TPC Southwind.  The course again showed its difficulty, and proved that it is a good warm up for the National.

The field, the purse, the amenities, the staff, the volunteers, and the fans, have made this event a big league event, and one that is taken seriously on the PGA Tour.  There aren’t many that can confidently say that.

I took this picture with my phone!!  SHHHH! (Hush y’all)!  Don’t tell anyone.

The Celtics have been dominant in the first two games.  Granted, they almost blew game 2, but their defense on Kobe and their ability to make the Lakers uncomfortable offensively has been amazing.  I thought the Lakers bench would have a big impact, but it’s been the Celtics bench that has been much more productive- especially the bigs.  Kendrick Perkins has been abused by Lamar Odom and Pau Gasol.  He can’t guard either one without getting into foul trouble.  Lucky for the Celtics, they have Powe and Brown.  That could be the reason Pau has been good in the first half when Perkins plays.  He’s been awful in the second half of Game’s 1 and 2.  Here’s a rundown of the “big numbers” from the people’s superstar…….

  • – Game 1: 0 rebounds in 1st half / 3 points in 2nd half / 0 assists in 2nd half
  • – Game 2: 0 points in 4th quarter / 0 field goal attempts in 4th quarter / 0 assists in the 2nd and 3rd quarter.
  • – Combined: 7 points in the 2nd half (1 point in the 4th quarter) /4 quarters without an assist / 0 assists in the 3rd quarter / 5 quarters with 2 or less rebounds (2 quarters with 0)

Hmmmmm…….. Looks like the same old Pau.  He’s a good offensive player.  He’s a good skilled player.  He’s a good passer.  That’s why he’s just a good player.  Great players don’t disappear for long stretches of time, especially in crunch time.  During the 2nd half of Game 2,  Jeff Van Gundy said, “Pau is very skilled, but he needs to get more aggressive.”  RIGHT!  CORRECT!  HELLO!  Has ANYONE paid attention to this guys career?  That is not going to happen- not next game, not next year, not the year after, NEVER!!  This is the same guy that has destroyed the Grizzlies for the last month regarding the trade.  I believe Van Gundy washes Pau’s car at the arena before the games, and spit shines his shoes, and might even fix Pau’s hair.  He sure shut his mouth on Sunday night!

Van Gundy has been embarrassing this post season.  I am so sick of his attitude.  He’s trying to be the big, outspoken, controversial, I know the game, jerk.  He is no better than Tom Tolbert.  You know who loves Jeff Van Gundy?  JEFF VAN GUNDY!  I would love to see a debate entitled: Who Invented the Game of Basketball?  The participants of the debate will be Van Gundy and Rick Barry.  Can you imagine the nonsense and drivel these two would spew?  Here are some Van Gundy gems from games 1 and 2:

  • – Phil Jackson just might be the best timeout caller in the history of the NBA. WHAT? That’s the dumbest bold statement I have ever heard!
  • – Kobe’s not even that good on defense. Shane Battier is a much better defender. People give credit to Kobe, even though it’s his teammates help that actually makes him good. ARE YOU SERIOUS? Has he ever seen Kobe play?
  • – Players should be allowed 7 fouls. Or maybe we should eliminate fouling out altogether. I’m serious about that one. REALLY? That would be a great idea. Joey Dorsey was so excited when he was watching Sunday night. He might actually be able to stay in games when he gets to the NBA.


These pictures are eerily similar.  Can you figure out which pictures are Jeff Van Gundy and which two are Science teacher Mr. Vargas from Fast Times at Ridgemont High?

I think Mark Jackson is rubbing off on Van Gundy.  I don’t understand why Mike Breen is forced to work with these two unlistenable and not entertaining wannabes during the NBA Finals, especially with all of the great NBA broadcasting talent on their own network.  You know who thinks Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy are funny?  You guessed it!

The Sports Bar NBA Finals picks are as follows (Playoff Record): World Renowned Executive Chef at FedExForum, Mark the Chef- Celtics in 7 (12-2), Will Askew- Celtics in 6 (11-3), Grizzlies assistant Dave Joerger- Lakers in 6 (11-3), Jeff Weinberger- Lakers in 6 (10-4), Me- Lakers in 7 (9-5).  Boy, that Chef sure can pick’em.

How bout these TV shows coming up:

  • – I Survived a Japanese Game Show
  • – Wipeout
  • – Greatest American Dog
  • – Celebrity Circus
  • – Opportunity Knocks

Have we really lost all interest in thinking of writing any sort of television show?  How embarrassing!  What’s even more embarrassing is the number of idiots that will be watching these shows on the talking box!

When does the WNBA start?

James Taylor is over rated!!  I don’t get it.  I really don’t.

David Letterman keeps putting great shows on the air.  He made an excellent point this week when they featured the new segment, Everything is Better with the Indiana Jones Theme Music.  It is so true.  You could watch anything, including soccer and it would be exciting. 

The man who invented the fake tan was brilliant!  The fake tan is the root of everything different in women today.  Us “old” guys always say the same thing, “Boy, they didn’t look like that when we were that age.”  You know why?  Because of fake tans.  Fake baking has led to many things: Breast enlargements, piercings, tattoos, highlights in the hair, working out feverishly, smaller and skimpier clothes, and always dressing sexy (sometimes skanky).  This one man changed women forever.  Single men love him.  Parents loathe him!

The inventor of the tanning bed is Friedrich Wolff.  He brought the bed to America in 1978.  In 1988, the US began putting regulations on beds and the boom took off!  Hmmmm.  1988?  Yep.  That’s about right.  Single men, listen up!  You toast Freddie Wolff every time you see that fake bake when you’re stalkin at the bar!

One of the dumbest human beings ever is the guy who thought button-fly for men was a good idea.  He’s right up there with the automatic, never working, wipe it on your pants, air dryer in bathrooms guy!

The Weekly Dish

Kobe Favorite for MVP.  So was Big Brown

Who will win the 2008 NBA Finals MVP?

Kobe Bryant 1/2
Kevin Garnett 2/1
Paul Pierce 13/2 (Leading candidate after 2 games)
Ray Allen 10/1
Pau Gasol 12/1
Lamar Odom 20/1

– Who will average more Points and Assists per game?
Kobe Bryant +4.5 (-110)- Kobe has 27.0 PPG + 7APG= 34
Magic Johnson -4.5 (-120)- 1987 Magic had 26.2 PPG + 13 APG= 39.2 (Magic leads by .7)

– Who will average more Points per game?
Paul Pierce +3.5 (-110)- Pierce has 25.0 PPG (Pierce leads by 4.7 PPG)
Larry Bird -3.5 (-120)- 1985 Larry had 23.8 PPG — Bodog

Lakers Vujacic surprised by gambling controversy

Sasha Vujacic could never have imagined the controversy he would stir up by casually drilling a three-pointer as time expired on the Lakers’ 100-82 win over the San Antonio Spurs. His three-pointer caused a $100 million swing among those who gamble on NBA games. Apparently the majority of Vegas gamblers had put their money on the Spurs because of the spread, and had Vujacic not hit that three they would have come out on top. Vujacic was stunned at the reaction to his shot. He had no idea about the gambling aspect, nor did he expect the browbeating he would take from his coaches and teammates when he got to the locker room.  It’s called class and having a clue, you IDIOT!

Gary Payton would get sex change for $100 million

Gary Payton, appearing as a guest host on FSN’s “Best Damn Sports Show Period,” was asked: For $100 million, would he get a sex change and play in the WNBA “Yes.”

Tiger Woods: ‘I don’t think anyone really watches hockey anymore’

During a news conference at Oakland Hills Country Club, the two-time defending champion was asked whether he was rooting for the Red Wings or the Pittsburgh Penguins in Game.5 of the Stanley Cup finals. Woods chuckled and said, “I don’t really care.  It’s all about the Dodgers. I don’t think anyone really watches hockey anymore.”

Pele documentary in the works

International soccer star Pele is ready to tell his story. FremantleMedia Enterprises has inked a development agreement with the Brazilian athlete’s licensing agency, Prime Licensing. Pele’s life has been documented in written biographies, but the parties said this marks the first time he has granted anyone “such unparalleled access” to produce a TV documentary. — Hollywood Reporter

Tatum – The Dog Made Me Do It!

Tatum O’Neal is playing the oldest blame game in the world for her crack attack — it was the dog’s fault!  She tells the New York Post, it was the death of her dog Lena that set her off in the spiral that ended with her allegedly buying crack on a street corner. “My daughter and I had to put her down. It was too horrible for words,” says the ex-kid star.
Of course, she pleaded not guilty to actually buying the crack.

Lesbian kiss at M’s game stirs up Seattle

A lesbian has complained that an usher at Safeco Field asked her to stop kissing her date because it was making another fan uncomfortable.

Mariners spokeswoman Rebecca Hale said that the club is investigating but that the usher was responding to a complaint of two women “making out” and “groping” in the stands.

“We have a strict non-discrimination policy at the Seattle Mariners and at Safeco Field, and when we do enforce the code of conduct it is based on behavior, not on the identity of those involved,” Hale said.

The code of conduct – announced before each game – specifically mentions public displays of affection that are “not appropriate in a public, family setting.”

Papa Joe — Selling Romo?
Yet again we learn that Joe Simpson will do anything to cash in on his lil’ girls.
Us Weekly says that Joe asked Romo to ditch his agent and let him manage his career – oh, and by the way, Tony has a $67 mil contract with the Dallas Cowboys. And that’s not all — Joe apparently offered to sell the story of Jess and Tony’s engagement and subsequent wedding to a magazine.  One little problem: they’re not engaged yet.

JT Rockin’ Jessica’s World – For Real?

It looks like Justin Timberlake might be rock-shopping for Jessica Biel.
The Chicago Sun-Times quotes “a usually impeccable Hollywood tipster” who says that JT has been doing some “serious, major Harry Winston-type” spelunking for an engagement ring for his girl. He’s also been quizzing Jess’s pals and associates to help him make the right choice.
The pair’s reps have continually denied any engagement talk.

Impostor’s ‘Sonics’ lies fooled woman he dated

For months, a Boston-area woman thought she was dating a Sonics front-office employee and former NBA player named Jeff Turner, and she thought she had scored a slam-dunk in the Internet dating game. But when the man she was falling for suddenly left his home and stayed away for three weeks, the woman became suspicious. A Google search helped her discover that this man was not Jeff Turner, but a habitual impostor who had been posing as a Sonics employee for the past several months.  “I am going to be honest with you. I don’t work for them,” the man who posed as Turner said from his home, when reached by the Seattle P-I. “(The situation was) all brought on by an online dating thing. I lied to her. Does that mean I can go out there and represent the Sonics? No. Does that mean that I did it to get some (sex)? Absolutely.”

Mark Townsend ran for U.S. Senator in Alabama, against NCAA

It was election day Tuesday in many parts of the country, and one of the most-watched races involved the Democratic primary for U.S. Senator in Alabama, where Mark Townsend hoped to make a stand.  Knowing that many voters in the state have a deep dislike for the NCAA, Townsend hoped to corner that vote with a platform that included abolishing the governing body. He actually had his named listed as Mark “No NCAA” Townsend on the ballot. Townsend sued the NCAA in 2001 for sanctions it imposed against the football programs at Auburn and Alabama. Townsend has reportedly complained about NCAA football telecasts not showing college bands playing the national anthem before the games or performing at halftime. “I believe the National Collegiate Athletic Association is the devil’s pitch fork,” he said in a campaign announcement.

Birthdays this week: Lex Lugar (50), Gary Bettman (56), Jerry Mathers (60), Kyle Petty (48), Nikki Cox (30), Hale Irwin (63), Chuck Barris (79), Tom Arnold (49), Tony Curtis (83), Angelina Jolie (33- is it just me, or has she been pregnant for 8 years?), Freddie Fender (71), Michelle Phillips (64), Bo Burton (66), Ray Lankford (41), Zydrunas Ilgauskas (33), Kenny G (52- and still flutin), Mark Wahlberg (37), Wayne Brady (36), Bill Bates (47), Bjorn Borg (52), Cam Neely (43), Sandra Bernhard (53), Mike Modano (38), Thurman Munson (61), Allen Iverson (33), Anna Kournikova (27),Tom Jones (68 and still collectin underwear), Prince (50), Dean Martin (91), Juliana Margulies (42), Troy Vincent (38), Bryant Reeves (35), Lindsay Davenport (32), Barbara Bush (83), Boz Scaggs (64), Jerry Stiller (81), Joan Rivers (75)

There’s plenty happening this week in Tunica.  For a complete list of events and attractions in Tunica, Mississippi, click on the link below.  Get easy access to the casino’s, golf courses, and all other entertainment.

Here’s a sneak peak of what’s coming up this month in Tunica:

June 13

B.B. King



June 14

Battle on the Bluff presented by: Chris Caudy

Sam’s Town


June 21

Merle Haggard



June 27

The Temptations

Sam’s Town


Don’t forget Mid-South Golfer the Radio show live in Tuinca this week at Tunica National Golf and Tennis Club from 3-4pm.  The Sports Bar follows from Tunica National from 4-6pm. 

Join us for the 3 Person Scramble Thursday at 5:15pm.  Just call 866-TEE-OFF1 for more information or go online at  See you there.

Talk to y’all this week.


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