Sports 56 WHBlog Q

May 27, 2008

Sunday (and Monday) on the Couch!

Filed under: blog, sports 56, Uncategorized — robfischer @ 2:01 am

Three day weekend!  AMAZING!  The only problem with a three day weekend is that there is NOTHING, absolutely nothing, on television.  I went the route of movies this weekend.  First, I watched I am Legend.  It should be renamed I am a Big Pile of Poop, or I am Demanding a Refund!  It was terrible.  The ending was horrendous, and the story was weak.  Suicide finish by a grenade?  Really?  Couldn’t he have thrown it at the monsters?  I’m embarrassed to even say monsters!  I’m ashamed of Will Smith.  I had a bad feeling towards Mr. Smith when he was talking to mannequins to stay sane.  How come female mannequins aren’t womannequins?  I’d feel a lot better about Will talking to a womannequin.  Not really, but I think it should be changed!  One other note from the movie- during a news broadcast, there was a scroll that mentioned Shaq retiring in 2010.  Do they know something we don’t?  Interesting.

I also watched Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story.  Very funny movie.  Much better than I am Legend.  John C. Reilly was terrific as Dewey Cox and has been great in everything he’s been in- Aviator was a wonderful movie, and he was perfect in Talledega Nights.  Jenna Fischer (no relation) is pretty good outside of The Office.  She looked great and was very humorous.  I love Kristen Wiig. 

She’s hysterical on Saturday Night Live and was great in Walk Hard.  She was brilliant in Knocked Up, which I also watched on HBO this weekend.  What a fun movie that is.  It makes you want to go out, find a single woman, and…….. maybe not.

One other movie I watched this weekend was the 1981 classic Stripes.  There are many lines that are priceless in the movie.  Bill Murray, John Candy, Harold Ramis, Warren Oates (Sgt. Hulka), and Judge Reinhold keep the laughs coming throughout.  I think John Larroquette’s role (Captain Stillman) might be as underrated as they come.  I thought he was good in Night Court, he has a great role in Boston Legal, but he needs more credit for his role in Stripes.  His physical humor was very Chevy Chase-ish in the movie.  Great stuff.

One more movie note- can’t wait to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  For anyone in my generation, he is THE all ime movie hero.  I was disappointed when the old man started going out with the VERY hungry Calista Flockhart and went mid-life crisis with his earring.  However, he’s still Indy!  Plus, I hear great things about the film.

Speaking of Indy, I really tried to watch the Greatest Spectacle in Racing this weekend.  Every time I had it on, there was a yellow flag.  EVERY TIME!  I’ve been to the Indy 500 four times.  It’s an event that I’m happy I got to experience.  However, it’s not at all the same on television.  300,000 people with wife beaters and tank tops- it should be called the Greatest Spectacle in People Watching.  When the race starts, the adrenaline is amazing.  The first time they lap the course, you think they’re going fast.  By the third lap, it’s breathtaking!  I was lucky enough to park behind the straight-away with my press pass, since I was “working”.  We were able to run to the car whenever we needed a fill-up and we could easily carry the cooler to the seats.  My final year there, we had to park two miles away and it rained.  No pun intended, but it put a damper on things.  I haven’t been back since.  It’s too bad there doesn’t seem to be much interest in the race anymore. 

Danica Patrick needs to calm down.  She wrecked Sunday and was extremely bitter.  Every time things don’t go her way, she stomps around like she’s tough, and does nothing but go to her trailer and cry.  When the announcers saw her stomping, they said, “That’s what makes her so great.”  What?  She’s been in the Victory Circle one time.  ONCE!  She’s overrated as a driver, and she’s overrated as a hot female in sports.  I could name at least ten better in sports.  I won’t, but I could.  She’s considered hot because she’s in a man’s sport.  Well, man up Danica and stop pouting!

The best thing about watching the race on TV is the side by side commercials.  If you missed it, they split the screen with commercials on one half and the race on the other half.  It’s brilliant.  I wish golf would do that. 

Speaking of golf, how bout Lefty coming through at the Colonial?  He was amazing with the flat-stick and his second shot on 18 was one for the ages!  One of the best winning shots you’ll ever see came with a 140 yard wedge that had to go under one tree, over another, through branches, and onto the green with a little backspin towards the hole- nine feet away.  It hopefully sets up a Phil-Tiger showdown at Torrey Pines.  Phil will miss the tournament at TPC Southwind because of playing the National at his home course this year, boding well for him while he’s hot.  So, how good will Tiger be?  He’s already pulled out of the Memorial.  I still think there’s an outside chance he’ll play here.  If he wants competition before the event, the SSJC is the only event left.  The last time he tried to play a major after a long layoff (when his father passed away), he missed the cut at the Open for his first MC in a major.  Here’s hoping he feels he needs to play.  He’ll be confident at Torrey Pines, where he’s won the Buick six times (four in a row), and won a junior world championship as a teenager.  Come on Tiger!  You need the practice!  You really don’t, but we’d love to give you a Pronto Pup.  I’ll even buy one for Elin!  Heck, I’ll take her out for some Memphis BBQ- Ribs, pulled pork, whatever she’s in the mood for!

The Phil Mickelson commercials for Crowne Plaza Hotels were very funny.  It’s great to see Phil have a little “real” personality.

The Boston Celtics finally won on the road!  I think the Celtics problems stem from being too unselfish.  The best thing about the Big 3 was that they all played for each other and the title all year.  The problem now is that they’re turning down too many shots.  The only guy that should be unselfish is Rajon Rondo, and he’s been better than the credit he’s been given.  Ray, KG, and Paul- SHOOT!

Tony Parker still kills Pau Gasol!  I still contend that Pau is the worst pick-n-roll player (ON BOTH ENDS OF THE FLOOR!) that I have ever seen!  Offensively, he sets a pick 6 feet from his opponent, who runs around him or under him.  Defensively, he stops, stutters, and decides which way to go while his opponent passes or drives while Pau’s slow to get back.  The Lakers will continue to see these and other examples of Pau’s “softness” in the next year.  I predict that Pau will be in trade rumors by next March.  Write it down!  Last week, Bill Plaschke (LA Times) wrote about Pau disappearing against the Jazz.  This week, Gregg Doyle ( killed him again:

This is going to seem harsh, and that’s not the intent. So keep that in mind when you read the following words:

Pau Gasol sucks.

Gasol doesn’t suck at being 7 feet tall. He also doesn’t suck at passing the ball. And his career numbers are nice and tidy.

But sometimes a basketball card can lie. The statistics on the back of the card aren’t always a true measure of the player on the front when he steps off that two-dimensional piece of paper and onto a real basketball court.

Pau Gasol is Craig Counsell.

Before the trade deadline in 1997, the Florida Marlins were a winning club, but they were headed for next year. No World Series. No playoffs. But then they added Craig Counsell, and they took off. Wild-card berth. Division Series. Pennant. World Series. He wasn’t a great player. But he was the player the Marlins needed to be great.

Pau Gasol is the Lakers’ Craig Counsell. He’s a pro. He’s the missing piece. But he’s not a superstar, and if you’re going to tell me he is, I’m going to tell you something equally unreasonable but equally true: Pau Gasol sucks.

Gasol averaged 18.8 ppg and 8.4 rpg this season, pretty much his career numbers, but he’s difficult to watch. Difficult to watch is a euphemism for something I’m not afraid to say.

Pau Gasol is soft.

He’s careless. He leaves so many baskets on the floor, it’s criminal. I realize Gasol is from Spain, but in Hawaiian the word Pau means “finish,” which is an absolute joke.

Pau will finish just often enough to get his 18.8 ppg and satisfy his fans, but not often enough to justify his status as an NBA star. Give Bryant a power forward who can finish with a fury and he’d average 10 assists per game. Gasol is a career 51.3-percent shooter, staggering considering he misses more bunnies than a drunk hunter. 

Superstar? Pau Gasol? Maybe on the back of his basketball card. Maybe on Google, where a search of the words “Pau Gasol” and “superstar” brought up 76,700 hits. Maybe in your imagination.

But not on the court. A superstar is the guy in the Spurs’ frontcourt, Tim Duncan, who abused Gasol for 30 points and 18 rebounds in Game 1. All Duncan has to endure is the soft player in the center of the Lakers’ defense.

That’s an easier job than mine. I have to endure the constant fallacy of Pau Gasol’s greatness.


He might win a ring, and he is playing well, but he’s still Pau, and the rest of the league is starting to learn that he is a “goodstar”, not a superstar. 

Here are the picks for the NBA Conference Finals from our “experts” (World Renowned Chef and Executive Chef at FedExForum, Mark the Chef / Fish / Weinberger / Askew / and Grizz assistant Dave Joerger).

Name (Record / Perfect # of Games Predicted in Series)

Fish (9-3)    Will (11-1)     Jeff (10-2)   Coach (11-1)  Chef (10-2)

 SA7          SA7             SA7           SA6              LAL6

DET6        DET7           DET6         DET7             BOS6

I really hope World Renowned Chef and Executive Chef at FedExForum, Mark the Chef is correct for two reasons.  One- EVERYONE wants to see the Celtics and the Lakers.  You’re kidding yourself if you don’t.  Second- If he’s correct, World Renowned Chef and Executive Chef at FedExForum, Mark the Chef, will have the lead in our picks!  He already beat Weinberger, Will, and Wolo in NFL picks this year.  Can he take home the NBA crown over Weinberger, Will, me, and an NBA coach?  Go get ’em Chef!

The Penguins are in trouble!  7-0 in 2 games!  Where’s that potent offence that we saw throughout the playoffs?  They’ve been outshot 70-41 and are 0-8 on the powerplay.  I said they had to take advantage of the extra attacker, and they are not.  Detroit has more experience and they look like the more confident, physical, and controlled team.  They are dynamite.  Hope the Pens can make it a series when they shift back to Mellon Arena.

I saw the Redbirds over the weekend.  They are a fun team to watch- much better than the last two years.  Plus, I’ve never had a bad time at Autozone Park.  What a gem we have downtown!  I got to see Anthony Reyes pitch.  I still have some hope that he can become the pitcher that he’s shown he can be- World Series Game 1 vs. Tigers!  Hope he gets the opportunity to start again and can take advantage.  It seems like a coincidence, but I think Reyes has hit a homerun every time I’ve seen him pitch.  He is talented and has great tools.  I hope he has the toolbox upstairs to store them in. 

By the way, the second floor bar at AZP is a fun place to have a cocktail.  The bartenders are a hoot and the TV’s, AC, and looped-up customers make it relaxing on a hot night.

I used to love the soft pretzels at the Flying Saucer.  Then they changed.  I wasn’t a fan.  But they have certainly grown on me.  The are pretty amazing.  So soft, warm, fluffy, and delicious.  I highly recommend them, and you can never go wrong with a Big Dipper.

Happy to see the Blue Monkey finally opened up downtown.  It will soon become the place I’ll frequent the most. 

Jason Taylor really is an idiot!  LOOK AT HIM!


Why don’t college baseball base coaches wear helmets?  Doesn’t look cool?  Doesn’t match your Oakley’s?  Feel like a bat boy?  GET OVER YOURSELVES!  I can say this, being a baseball guy myself- college baseball players are the biggest tools in sports!  There are a lot of coaches who follow suit.  Put on the darn helmet, at least out of respect.  Besides, you’re in more danger with those bats made from NASA Spaceshuttle metal these days!

I don’t believe Charles Barkley when he says he won’t be betting!  I just don’t.  Sorry Chuck.  Still love you and the guys on TNT!

Former Dancing With the Stars champion Emmitt Smith might be the only athlete who would be on the all-time overrated and underrated list.  Everyone has an opposite opinion of Emmitt.  I think he’s on the underrated list because of the idiots who think he’s overrated.  He’s only the All Time Leading Rusher, with 3 Super Bowl Titles, and the only back to EVER win the Super Bowl, the NFL MVP, the NFL Rushing Title, and the Super Bowl MVP all in the same season.  ENOUGH SAID!

Bryan Adams is the Bruce Springsteen of Canada?  Really?  What a big coup for American Idol to have the Canadien Hall of Famer on their finale! 

David Cooke won!  Biggest shock since George Mason’s tourney run!

If you watch, or don’t watch Real Sports on HBO, make sure to check out this month’s episode.  The piece on horse racing will make you fall more on my side, if you didn’t already!  It’s sickening to see what thoroughbred horse owners will do to the horses that don’t make them money.  As I said a couple of weeks ago, these owners need to stop acting like they love their horses like a family member.  They only love the horse that can run and make them cash.  WE NEED MORE STUDY IN THIS KILLING!


Photographer speared by javelin at state meet

A newspaper photographer got a little too close to the action at the Utah high school track championships – and was speared through the leg by a javelin.

Ryan McGeeney of the Provo Standard-Examiner was spared serious injury, and even managed to snap a photo of his speared leg while others tended to him.

“If I didn’t, it would probably be my editor’s first question when I got back,” McGeeney said.  I know how you feel Ryan!  I once took pictures when I had hives- HYSTERICAL!

Striking just below the knee, the javelin tip went through the skin and emerged on the other side of his leg. He needed 13 stitches.  

Rainbow Man from ’70’s and ’80’s serving three life sentences

For more than 10 years starting in the late 1970s, Rollen Stewart was the nation’s most celebrated sports fan, a wig-wearing, wigged-out self-promoter who showed up at virtually every major athletic event worldwide and always managed to plant himself smack-dab in front of a television camera. He was known as the Rainbow Man, for the multicolored Afro wigs he sported. Later, after finding religion, he morphed into the John 3:16 guy.  

Stewart says he really was no fan at all. “I despised sports,” he says. Stewart is 63 now, and last attended a sporting event about 20 years ago. Serving three life sentences for taking hostages, he has been imprisoned since 1992. The punishment was the result of a bizarre incident in which an armed Stewart locked himself in a hotel room near Los Angeles International Airport and kicked off an 8 1/2 -hour standoff with police, demanding a three-hour, televised news conference to air his views.  I’m sad to say, but my best Halloween costume ever was “John 3:16 Guy”.  Every guy laughed, and every woman had no idea what I was thinking.  Some things never change.

Ricky Williams documentary?

Dolphins RB Ricky Williams put his book project on hold and is now working on a TV documentary on his life.  It might be the 4th season of Weeds on Showtime.  Can’t wait to watch.  Who plays Ricky?  Dave Chapelle?

 Jose Canseco to try boxing career

Baseball star Jose Canseco recently revealed that the mortgage on his home had been foreclosed, and he blamed two costly divorces for his financial woes. Because he has to pay the bills, he has turned to celebrity boxing. Canseco is seeking a challenger to fight on July 12 at the Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic City. The chosen opponent will be paid $5,000.  July 12th is my birthday.  Would LOVE $5K on my birthday.  I’m in if we make it on my own turf- Tunica, Mississippi!

Bow Wow Cast in ‘Entourage,’ ‘Patriots’

Shad Moss, better known as Bow Wow, has joined the fifth season of Entourage in a recurring role as a stand-up comedian managed by Eric (Kevin Connolly). Additionally, Moss – who says he is focusing on acting full time in an attempt to ”be the next Will Smith” – has been cast opposite Forest Whitaker and Isaiah Washington in the sports drama Patriots.  I’m still waiting for Entourage to start especially with every show shutting down for the summer.  TV really sucks right now.

NBC Sports Scores Ratings Bump in NHL Stanley Cup Finals

NBC Sports’ Saturday and Sunday coverage of the NHL Stanley Cup Conference Finals earned a combined 1.6 overnight household rating and a 4 share, an increase of 14 percent over last year.  I’m one of the 14%.  The hockey strike is the best work stoppage any sport has ever had.  Sure they cancelled a season and lost a lot of fans.  But, fans got exactly what they wanted, salary cap, parity, no two-line passing, no ties.  The game might be at an all time high, and fans will be back in time.

Spike Lee Doing Michael Jordan Doc

Spike Lee announced Monday that he is directing a feature-length documentary about basketball superstar Michael Jordan, which he hopes to bring to next year’s Cannes Film Festival. The project will feature previously-unseen footage shot by NBA cameras during the final two years in Jordan’s career.  I’m sure there will be a lot of gambling and knee icing!

Vince Young Admits He Had Too Much Fun

Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young has apologized to the kids of the world after pics of him partying in a Texas bar shirtless surfaced online (as seen in last week’s BLOG).
Young tells The Tennessean, “I was having a good time with friends … and you know how it is, as a quarterback you can’t have too much fun. I blame myself for that, but at the same time you have to watch certain things,” adding, ‘”I apologize to some of the kids if they did see it because I am trying to be a role model for them. But at the same time, I was just trying to have fun with (friends).”  Nice apology!  Jason Giambi apologized better than that.

Will Charles Barkley be spotted at casino? / Will Barry Bonds serve jail time?

Will Barkley be spotted on a Casino Gaming Floor before the end of the 2007-2008 NBA Playoffs?

Yes +500

No -1000

How much Jail Time will Bonds serve?

None 3/1

0-6 Months 2/1

7-12 Months 2/1

13-18 Months 5/1

19 Months or More 6/1 — – Bodog

Yanks Jason Giambi and his magic gold thong

The key to turning the Yankees season around could be under Jason Giambi’s pinstriped pants. The Yankee slugger revealed he slips on a gold thong with a flame-line waistband when he’s trying to get out of a hitting slump – and he’s shared it with his teammates. Derek Jeter agreed that Giambi’s thong works, although “it’s so uncomfortable running around the bases,” he said. “I was 0-for-32 and I hit a homer on the first pitch.” Johnny Damon also admitted donning the golden panties “probably three times.”  What is the secret of Giambi’s golden thong? “You’re not worrying about your hands or your balance at the plate,” Damon said. “You’re worried about the uncomfortable feeling you’re receiving.”  Maybe I should have tried it in college.  I could still be playing if I thonged!

‘Weeds’ goes theme song-less for new season

The season 3 finale of Weeds saw the suburban town of Agrestic decimated by wildfires. Now, series creator Jenji Kohan tells that the show’s theme song “Little Boxes,” the beloved Malvina Reynolds ditty is going up in smoke, too. “We rode that pony,” she says. “We sat down and looked at what our show is now, and Nancy [Botwin, played by Mary Louise Parker, pictured] has gotten out of her little box. It just seemed like a holdover from where we started and I want to get the audience on board to a new adventure.” Instead, viewers will get “more show” when the Showtime dramedy returns on June 16.  Although I like the song, more show is always better.  It’s a great program!  Now I just have to get Showtime. 

Quotes of the Week (

”Well, if we accept your premise and also accept the highly improbable assumption that Penny is the only woman in the world for you, then we can logically conclude that the results of blowing it would be that you end up a bitter, lonely old man with no progeny. The image of any number of evil lighthouse keepers from Scooby Doo cartoons comes to mind.”

”Toby has been cruisin’ for a bruisin’ for 12 years, and I am now his cruise director. And my name is Captain Bruisin’.”

”Yesterday in an interview with Katie Couric, Hillary Clinton said that she would not quit no matter how bad her numbers looked. Then Katie Couric said the same thing to Hillary.”
Conan O’Brien, on Late Night

Great list of birthdays celebrated this past week:  Bill Laimbeer (51), Kevin Garnett (32), Grace Jones (56), David Wells (45- You know who loves David Wells?  DAVID WELLS!), Bronson Pinchot (49), Busta Rhymes (36), Stan Mikita (68), Cher (62- face is 17), Joe Cocker (64), Mindy Cohn (42- Natalie from Facts of Life!), Al Franken (57), Raymond Burr (91), Tommy John (65- What a coincidence that he had Tommy John surgery!  What are the odds?), Naomi Campbell (38- Cougar range!), Marvin Hagler (56), Drew Carey (50), Kelly Monaco (32), Priscilla Presley (63- no comment out of respect.  However, she was amazing in Naked Gun.  She “had it stuffed yesterday”), Bob Dylan (67), Patti LaBelle (64), Tracy McGrady (29), Tommy Chong (70- add him to the Keith Richards list of- I can’t believe they have survived this long!), Ann Heche (39), Miles Davis (82), KC Jones (76), Connie Selleca (53- still amazing.  Gotta give John Tesh some credit), and Mike Myers (45)

There’s plenty happening this week in Tunica.  For a complete list of events and attractions in Tunica, Mississippi, click on the link below.  Get easy access to the casino’s, golf courses, and all other entertainment.

Here’s a sneak peak of what’s coming up in Tunica:

May 29 – 31

The Original Toughman Contest Worl Championship

Sam’s Town


May 30

Ricky Lynn Gregg



May 31

Blake Shelton

The Fitz


June 6 – 7

Ricky Lynn Gregg



June 7

Billy Currington

Sam’s Town


Good for Blake Shelton being with Miranda Lambert.  Perfect for him.  He should have a really good show.  Women, he’ll probably hit on every single one of you!

Women love that Billy Currington too.  Plus, I know they also love my BLOG, so ladies call Sam’s Town now!

Hope to see you in Tunica, and don’t forget the Tunica National 3 Person Scramble this Thursday at 5pm.  Just call 866-TEE-OFF1 for more information or go online at  See you there.

Talk to y’all this week.



  1. we were at Patti LaBelles 64 birthday party in ATlantic city, she performed that night b4 the party and was amazing.

    during the party natalie cole, stephanie mills, sarah dash and others sang for her all night.

    Comment by sandy rowley megastarmedia — May 27, 2008 @ 1:15 pm

  2. Once again you prove your a fool,just because Plaschke and Doyle says Pau sucks does not make it true.Plaschke is the same moroon who predicted UCLA would beat Memphis because of coaching,much like the the Tiger hacks on this station.Maybe you fools should worry about doing your jobs half as good as Pau does his.I believe its a little easier to punch buttons at a radio station and talk,then it is to score 18 and grab 10 rebounds in the nba.Lets face it they could train a monkey to do your job.So because Fischer,Plaschke,and Doyle says Pau sucks it got to be true.

    Comment by MIKE TRAMEL — May 27, 2008 @ 5:07 pm

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