Sunday on the Couch

BOXING- Oscar De La Hoya can do a lot for boxing.  He’s such an engaging man and he has done a great job promoting.  Fighters want to join his stable and his card’s because he has the fighter’s interest at heart.  I think fighters would trust him, at least more than any other promoter you can think of.  Go ahead, try to give me one that can be trusted!  Anyway, Oscar has done a great job getting fights that lead to title bouts.  He hasn’t gone the route of Pay-per-view, which gives many more fight fans the opportunity to watch great fights on HBO.  One thing he needs to do is stop fighting!  Oscar has gotten old.

He’s not as quick, unless you want to compare him to Steve Forbes, who he beat by unanimous decision Saturday night in Los Angeles.  He’s planning on a rematch with Floyd Mayweather Jr. in September.  HE HAS NO CHANCE.  Watching him fight Forbes was one of the worst fights I’ve seen in a long time.  To see Oscar fight just once a year is probably enough, but I wish it was worth watching.  Saturday night, you had an old former champ fighting a guy that had no interest in winning.  Good luck in September Oscar, but do us a favor- Just stick to the promoting.  You can do a great deal for the sweet science, but getting in the ring isn’t helping. 

Other observations from the fight- 

• I HATE when fighters start to showboat in the ring when they are getting killed.  Was Steve Forbes actually proud of himself that he lasted 12 rounds with Oscar?  It looked like that was all he was trying to do.  Congratulations on the loss.  You looked like an idiot dancing around when you won, arguably, one round.
• When are we done with Larry Merchant?  His “humorous” quips are only funny to him and they take 5 minutes to get the thought across.  His post fight interviews are nothing but laughable.  Please get rid of Larry, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but get Max Kellerman more involved.  It sounds like Lampley wants to hit Larry in the head with the microphone every time he finishes a point.
• I love what Oscar’s doing for boxing, but quit putting Sylvester Stallone in the 2nd row in view of the main camera.  Every time I watch a De La Hoya sanctioned event, I can’t get my eyes off of how terrible he looks.  In Hi-Def, Sly looks like he puts his face on with a spatula!  Can’t imagine what his pillow looks like every morning after he melts at night.

THE DERBY- Big Brown was certainly impressive at the Derby.  He had such a great run, and made it look easy with three-time Derby winning jockey Kent Desormeaux.  After going off at 2-1, I can’t imagine how much of a favorite he’ll be in two weeks at the Preakness.  No horse has captured the triple crown since Affirmed in 1978.  He may have looked great on Saturday, but don’t buy into the “superhorse / triple crown” talk.  We’ve said it each year after the Derby.  It’s been 30 years, so just relax!  Plus, indications are that no other Derby horse will follow Big Brown to Pimlico.  Enjoy that field of unknowns when you try to break it down.  I won some money with Big Brown putting down $40 to win which paid off $136.  My trifecta box didn’t pay out, but was close- Big Brown (1), Denis of Cork (3), Colonel John (6), and Gayego (17).  Ok, maybe it wasn’t that close, but I got 2 of the three in my tri. 

After the race, runner up Eight Belles was euthanized after fracturing both front ankles.  Dr. Larry Bramlage said he had never seen such an injury.  He was also asked if he thought fillies running against colts was a good idea.  He said, “One death is not an epidemic.”  Didn’t know this was the first death in horse racing.  I love horse racing.  It’s fun to wager and it’s great to watch these beautiful beastly animals running with such power.  But when are we going to stop giving horse racing a free pass because we have pretty flowers, pretty hats, pretty people, and pretty drinks that make the event everything but the race?  How far above cockfighting and dogfighting is horse racing?  Really?  These animals are overworked and pushed to the limit so owners and fans alike can buy a few more mint juleps.  Horse racing only exists because of the betting.  We would never watch, or care, if betting wasn’t involved.  There were 55 horse racing deaths between 2004-06.  That’s 55 deaths at one track- Del Mar near San Diego.  The picture alone is hard to look at.

 

The difference between cockfighting and dogfighting and horse racing is that horses aren’t trained to kill.  However, they are trained in a manner that could kill them.  When is Congress going to question horse racing safety?  I guess they’re making too much money on it too.  And this from trainer Larry Jones- “Eight Belles ran the race of her life.  She was glad to do it.”  REALLY?  Glad to run and die?  Glad to be trained hard, run with colts, get slapped on the ass by some tiny fella on top, and DIE?  GLAD TO DO IT?  This is where I have a serious problem.  I am sickened when horse people talk about these animals as if they know what they’re thinking.  These horses have no idea what’s at stake other than a big oat bag when they finish running.  Lesley Visser always referred to the animals thoughts going into a race, although she sometimes looked like she could have been related so maybe she did know.  But how and why do we justify the horse’s thought process on race day?  We treat them as if they are people.  THEY ARE NOT!  If they were, we wouldn’t allow the sport to go on.  What other sport loses an estimated 800 athletes in the USA per year to death?

Other thoughts of the week-

• Why do women’s bathrooms have a lid on the seat?  Is the lid ever raised for anything?  Anything?  It’s time to sell my idea of the one-piece-toilet, soon to be found in women’s bathroom stalls everywhere.
• My favorite quote from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure might be, “GOOD MORNING MR. BREAKFAST!”
• The movie, Italian Job, might have the best 30 minute start of any movie I’ve ever seen.  After the first 30 minutes you can finally take a breath.  But get ready for more action packed excitement.  Besides, how do you not like a movie starring Charlize Theron?
• One skill I take for granted is the ability to swim.  Everyone should learn how to swim.  It won’t take long and you shouldn’t be embarrassed.  It could save your life or someone else’s life some day.  As I always say, “Don’t ever underestimate the power of water.”  Click on the link below to find out more information.
• http://educatelink.localwin.com/Swimming/Memphis.html
• The worst chore ever- cutting grass!  I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!  EVER!
• My NHL pick, the Pittsburgh Penguins, are simply relentless.  With two young stars and a young cast around them, the Pens should be competing for Lord Stanley’s Cup for a long time.  That’s great for the NHL because they are amazing to watch and their offence is spectacular.  The Pens always look like they’re on the powerplay because of their terrific passing.  Can’t wait to watch them hoist the Cup.
• There’s plenty of room on the Tom Thibodaux bandwagon.  I don’t plan on jumping on board.  In case you haven’t heard of him, he’s an assistant coach with the Boston Celtics and he’s apparently the next great head coach.  He’s credited for the Boston Celtics defensive resurgence this season.  You know what else helps?  Having three superstars who never miss their shots!  It sure makes it a lot easier to guard when teams are constantly pulling the ball out of their own basket.  He’s the most overhyped assistant coach since Quin Snyder was at Duke with Coach K.  It earned the Mighty Quin a head coaching job at Missouri.  That sure worked out.  He’s carrying bags, handing out water bottles, and oh yeah, coaching the Austin Toros in the DLeague. 
• Best commercial on TV right now- Beggin Strips.  Can’t get enough of the dog screaming, “BACON!”, as he sniffs through the house.
• Zaza Pachulia is the Julian Tavarez of the NBA.  Cool it down dude!  Seriously.
• If David Archuleta actually wins American Idol, which he probably will, just book the tour now with Miley Cyrus.  No one over the age of 16 would pay anything to see him sing. 
• Please tell me that Dwayne Wade and Star Jones are just friends.  PLEASE!  Dwayne is still one of the smooth guys in all of sports.  Star Jones?  Charles Barkley called her a cougar!  I bet that’s the first time that happened in her life!  Wade did say that they are just friends.  Whew.  Below are Star and Dwayne, Star (Before and After), and Dwayne and his lovely wife. 

   

Along with her weight, I think Star lost her hair too.  Mrs. Wade is still finer.

Those who celebrated birthdays this week- John Daly (42- his liver and lungs are 108), Jay Leno (58), Jessica Alba (27- #1 on my list), Andre Agassi (38), Jerry Seinfeld (53), Michelle Pfeiffer (50- one of the all time great cougars, and maybe top 5 of all time), Uma Thurman (38- one of the all time overrated cougars EVER), Isiah Thomas (47), Willie Nelson (75- wow, he doesn’t look a day over 87 these days), Stu Appleby (37), David Beckham (33), Christopher Cross (57), Randy Travis (49), George Will (67), and my partner Will Askew (29)

Have a great week everyone!